Tales From Home Pt.1: Here's Your Brownie!

As I sat here on a sweltering night in Daito Japan, I became a little nostalgic for the good old days of high school while living in Rockland, Pennsylvania. Now don't get me wrong, high school and the area that I grew up in really suck, and the last thing I would ever want to do is relive those tediously boring days. Despite my lack of affection for my hometown, the monotony did have one positive side effect, a large collection of people experiencing the same frustration. As a result of this fact, my friends and I were forced to find new ways to enjoy life in a world lacking of anything to see or do in an 80 mile radius. The things that we did and the stories that were created are still as funny (to us) as they were then. So, now it is my great honor to introduce the world to the Moulin Brownie!

Every group of friends has a one person singled out as the butt of their jokes. We had two. First was Jesse. He is this super good guy who has a penchant for eating peas all day and speaking to us only in broken "Simpson's" quotes. He was also super nice and always stuck up for dumb friend #2. This other friend was simply named Moulin (pronounced Moleeeeeinnnn). This kid was the ultimate goofball. He always wanted to watch "Blues Brothers" due to its famous record of the most car explosions in a movie. (The excitement he showed over "Blues Brothers 2000" is yet another notable blemish on his already shaky resume) He also was famous for dressing up in full body camo while playing games of "Capture the Flag". During the game he would hide in a tree and never come down, even after the game was finished. Moulin believed that our yelling about the game being over was only a clever ruse to find the true location of his hiding tree. There are many more things to mention, but perhaps I'll save that for a future blog. Anyway, one faithful night we were all hanging out at Jesse's house. His mother, perhaps aware that her baking efforts were the sole reason her son had any friends, had just finished cooking a sheet of delicious brownies. We all took our desired brownie, leaving the hard and crusty corner brownie for Moulin. It was at this instant, that my friend Dan, in an act of sheer comedic brilliance said, "Here is your brownie Moulin". As he uttered this famous line, he drove his index finger into the heart of Moulin's already sad excuse for a baked good. Moulin's face went from the usual expression of annoyed confusion, to tragic despair in less than a second. We all laughed quite hard, but Jesse realizing that to laugh at Moulin, was to lose his sole true friend, graciously gave Moulin his own brownie. Of course we all hated Jesse more for ruining the moment, but since none of us gave Moulin our brownie, we didn't mind.

It was a great evening, and one I will never forget. If you ever want to really chuckle at a friends expense, look at his/her face in the midst of ruining their brownie. It's comedic gold. Plus, since nobody could possibly want a brownie that you have fingered up to your first knuckle, the comedic treat is all the more special, because now you have two brownies!
-Todd