Suicide Notes

I decided to write the following article for a number of reasons. The major reason is a desire to remain the driving force behind this forum, and as a result I feel that it is necessary to make occasional contributions. My second reason is a genuine desire to put on paper the latest product of my wondering mind. It is with this in mind that I present the latest piece of wisdom to be regurgitated by the chaos that is my conscious.

A few days ago, I had a particularly depressing day. I don't have a good excuse to explain why I felt the way that I did, but I know that by the end of the day I had descended into a type of melancholy that had me thinking about my life, my prospects, and to put it bluntly, suicide. Now before all of you jump to save me from the edge of this precipice, I assure you I had no intention of actually committing the act. While it's true that I stood in awe of its ability to due away with my petty problems, I shied away from actually committing the mortal sin because of the ambitions which would undoubtedly have been left unaccomplished following a successful suicide attempt. Despite the decision against actually committing suicide, I still continued to consider the nature of the act itself. Now I know that many of us at one time or another have considered life after our own deaths. How will our family act? Will there be a lot of people at my funeral? Will anyone even care? While these may be important personal questions, they have little relevance towards my general aim at the moment. Of course all of this leads us to a very important philosophical question. What leads people to actually make the choice to commit suicide? The following are the conclusions I made concerning this subject during a particularly boring commute from work on the Moscow metro.

In order to understand why one would desire to end their lives, its important to find out why anyone would want to live it. It is with this in mind that we must delve into the most famous (and cliche) question in human history, the meaning of life. Everyone on earth has different interpretations concerning the answer to this question, but its clear that every person uses their own specific beliefs as a blueprint for their day to day lives. While these beliefs may be unique to each individual, it goes without saying that most of them can be similarly categorized through careful observation. Through these means, the generalized meaning of life reveals itself to be the result of either religious, traditional, or cultural obligations. As previously alluded to, everyone has specific details and combinations from these categories which makes their "meaning" unique, and therefore personalized. Despite this, the fact of the matter is that all "meaning" is derived from or as reaction to these three principals. The decay of the human spirit as well as the road toward suicide comes as a result of a failure to live up to the preconceived notions or goals based on one or a number of these ideals that were set forth at some particular time in a person's life. Most of these problems begin in a similar fashion. Something that starts as a seemingly innocuous event in our lives develops into a compounding problem that quickly spirals downward. At the same time, the inability to rationalize the failure of the very thing we believed our life stood for causes a massive mental crash resulting in that catch all for all mental and psychological misery, depression. Naturally, depression does not mean that suicide is inevitable. In fact, the vast majority escape its clutches by reevaluating their lives and starting anew with their previous beliefs, or alternately choosing a new "meaning". Unfortunately either choice is likely to come from the same three obligations discussed above and as a result the chance of another collapse remains likely. Fortunately (or unfortunately) many people don't ever fall into the trap of depression and continue living their lives based on their belief structures due to that incomprehensible of all human characteristics, faith, or more specifically, faith in themselves. This belief in having had the good fortune of living for something worth while, keeps most of society happy their entire lives. Naturally these same people have bouts of doubt, but these tinges of regret only seem to flash across their mind at certain points of life, or on their deathbed. The majority's success at living full lives makes one wonder why the minority chooses suicide. This question is one which while puzzling at first, becomes much clearer following closer examination.

Suicide is not a unique phenomena. Throughout human history, people have found themselves falling to its whim, while at the same time being unable to comprehend while they are victims in the first place. As mentioned earlier, depression is the state that immediately precedes suicide. This state caused by the absence of "meaning" is a non-stop exercise of mental toughness, as the brain desperately tries to search for something worth living for. As the mind begins to search for "meaning" it attempts to safeguard itself from a possible return to depression, by throwing out all that it deems unsatisfactory. It is in this state that many of the traditions and values held in reverent awe by a majority of the human race reveals itself to be nothing more than a means to protect us from knowing the regrettable truth. There isn't any meaning to life. Everything that we cherish, from religion, to family tradition is nothing more than humanity attaching meaning to an otherwise meaningless existence. All has been created just to give us reason to continue living, as opposed to the alternative, which is the soul-crushing truth that we are unnecessary. This form of social enlightenment is staggering and when the mind finally realizes the futility of its pursuit it decides to end itself through the only means possible, physical extermination. While this seems harsh, it is necessary to see the scale of the illusion that has been pulled over our eyes. Unfortunately for the victims of suicide, this result proves what can happen to the unfortunate variable of the population incapable of accepting the current fantasy of our own self-importance.

Finally, its easy to see why a majority of the established paths to happiness look down on suicide. The world's religions as well as the common notion of suicide being "selfish" make it the ultimate unforgivable act. Despite these negative repercussions, suicide continues to occur. Of course, all of this may have many readers wondering about where I stand which in turn begs the question concerning why I haven't committed suicide. Especially if I'm so confidant in the meaninglessness of life. The question is a good one, and a difficult thing to answer. In my opinion the continued existence of suicide proves that if life does have meaning, it hasn't been discovered or created yet. In fact the continued (and increasing) materialism that exemplifies a capitalist world has only intensified these feelings of personal irrelevance. The further entrenchment of a materialist conception of value only threatens to make the situation worse. In conclusion, I can only say that since we live in a world devoid of inherent meaning, it is our duty to find a purpose. Our biology demands that we give ourselves a reason to live, but unfortunately we have failed at creating a universal "meaning of life" that humanity can collectively appreciate. Of course my belief in the possibility of this idea may be just another delusion, but for me, its enough to give me the "meaning" I need to keep going.

Type A-Team Personalities: How Understanding the A-team Leads to a Better Comprehension of Ourselves

This is the second of a number of blogs that will be written by "guest contributors." This article was written by Dr. Philip Dumat (see my blog entitled "A New Format"). Enjoy!

Before I begin, I would like to introduce myself. My name is Philip Dumat. I have a Ph.D in Philosophy which means I'm technically a doctor, but not one with the power to help a sick person, unless of course their suffering from a lack of credits needed for graduation. I'm also an intellectual, which means I'm really really intelligent, or at least I feign to be. As an intellectual, I have the tendency to look beyond what normal people see due my superior understanding of the world. You see, I have read a lot of books, which not only compensates for my lack of actual life experience, but also gives me the authority to decide which things deserve our attention. Also, As a philosopher I am obliged to investigate the deeper aspects of our collective conscious in order to help further the human race. Naturally, I do this through long drawn out treatises complete with words and vocabulary I use to prove my intellectual prominence. Finally, while I have never actually played chess, I'm aware of it. Of course this means I can refer to any complicated situation in any circumstance by using this metaphor. If this doesn't prove to you that I'm erudite, nothing will.

It was with these credentials that I searched for new ways to describe our existence on this planet. During my requisite three hour pre-lunch library stint, I stumbled upon a book entitled The Simpsons and Philosophy: The D'oh! of Homer. While I had never actually seen the show (I refuse to watch TV, because as someone who desperately wants to be excepted as intelligent, its a cardinal sin), I decided to leaf through the book to see what the less educated were doing with their time. I was amazed to find that many philosophers had deemed this project worth their efforts. After searching more, I found similar books talking about shows like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, The Sopranos and films like The Matrix. It was with this new found discovery, that I became determined to write my own book of philosophy regarding a popular TV show. Unfortunately, my lack of knowledge regarding television caused me a great deal of problems , and I found myself losing valuable time reading hundreds of copies of TV Guide. Finally, I gave up and asked fellow blog contributor Patrick Cherniburg if he knew anyone who could give me insight into modern television. He suggested 19 year old Jason Lewis, a respectable young man who had helped him with his latest article. I immediately went to his house but only found his father drunk and on the verge of passing out. As I waited among a pile of spent beer cans, I noticed him watching an interesting program about a group of four men who helped people while being hunted by the government for a crime they did not commit. When I asked about the program, his father told me that it was called The A-team, and was quite popular. After watching a few more minutes, I knew I had found the show that I needed.

Now before I begin my analysis, I would like to reveal some of the basic premises and characters on the show. As I mentioned previously, the program revolves around the adventures of a motley group of Vietnam veterans driving around fighting the government as well other people bent on doing wrong. In the process, Hannibal, Face, B.A., and Murdock (as the four men are commonly called) use their own unique gifts to thwart their opponents and save the day for whatever client (they often work as mercenaries) or friend that required their services. On the surface the antics of this group appear to be nothing more than an action drama speckled with some lighter moments for the sake of comic relief. Fortunately for the world, this could not be further from the truth. So without further ado, I would like to give you the true meaning behind one of mankind's greatest philosophical parables, The A-team.

To begin, I would like to discuss the circumstances surrounding the actual characters themselves. To the casual observer, it looks as though the four members of The A-team have startlingly unique personalities as a result of the writers trying to keep as many options open for future episodes. Once again, I have proven to be more intelligent. In fact, The A-team represents the conflicting emotions and personalities in each and every person on earth. After all, in one way or another, we all want the same things. There are some people who strive to exhibit their unique brand of individualism, becoming politicians, artists, actors. This is all due to a conscious or unconscious desire for power, fame, or respect. More acutely, these aspirations are necessary for attaining a degree of confidence and security in ourselves and in our abilities. Needless to say, there is more to the human condition than just the desire for a degree of self respect. Beauty or the wish of appealing to those of the opposite sex also plays a large role in most, if not all of the people on earth. It's appeal remains one of the strongest, due to our base desire to reproduce. Still, there are other people who wish to be funny, working their whole lives to gain acceptance by being witty or clever. Finally, there are some who desire physical or mental strength, and feel that this is the means of proving their self worth. To quickly sum everything up, it is clear to me that there are certain intrinsic qualities represented in everyone on the planet. It may even be reduced to only four major features. Although I hate to generalize, it is perhaps not a coincidence that the four quintessential human desires that I'm alluding to, confidence (Hannibal), beauty (Face), humor (Murdock), and strength (B.A.) are all represented by The A-team.

Naturally, these symbols of humanity aren't prone to idleness. This is the point where the show really shines, because it reveals some truths about how these conflicting parts of humanity interact with each other. B.A.'s character remains the most obvious reflection of this premise. His strength gives him confidence, but despite this, he still fears petty things like flying. This displays the fundamental flaw of an over reliance on physical strength, notably its ability to breed a type of insecurity that inevitably leads to irrational fear. The writers further prove the deficiencies of physical strength by showing B.A.'s complete lack of comprehension for the acts of the comic relief, Murdock. B.A.'s common claims of "pitying the fool" are less a sign of a general sorrow at Murdock's perceived mental deficiencies, but may actually be a type of self-criticism, in which B.A. bemoans his own lack of understanding for the varied catalysts that motivate Murdock (or anyone else for that matter). It is with this in mind, that I would like to put forth my assertion that "the fool" that B.A. is pitying is not Murdock, but in fact, himself.

On the other hand, Murdock's comedy is portrayed as sure sign of his downward spiral to insanity. It even seems that his overwhelming desire to be funny undermines his real talents, namely his ability to pilot anything capable of flight. In reality, Murdock's singular desire to produce levity, in fact generates the opposite, and in turn causes the characters to have to alter plans (and in some cases, their very livelihood) to adapt to these eccentricities. This is a powerful reminder of the pitfalls of unnecessary or weak comedy. We all have experiences dealing with people who believe themselves to be funny, and many of us can cite a situation when we were forced to compensate for that person's character deficiencies. Of course this all leads up to inevitable conflict between the two characters. When B.A. and Murdock's one dimensional personalities interact, they act as a symbol of the weaknesses of the human condition as a whole. In my opinion, the most obvious statement of the show in this regard is simply the incompatibility between the personalities that favor humor as opposed to those who favor physical strength. Naturally, I believe that my arguments can be verified through careful analysis of our own personal experience. For example, how many strong and funny people do you know? I rest my case.

Finally, I would like to say that my analysis of B.A. and Murdock are only the tip of the iceberg. Each character in his own unique way provides insight into the the very nature of mankind, and only through intense and continual study will we be able to fully appreciate the wisdom contained in each pulse pounding episode. I am so confident of my previous statements that I have decided to stake my academic reputation on my findings. Even as we speak, I am writing a second paper concering some different angles of the A-team ranging from Hannibal's fear and insecurity being the stimulus for his frequent wisecracks to Face's constant whining representing his growing disenchantment with the artificiality of his reputation as a womanizer. These things and others make The A-team a virtual treasure trove of philosophical underpinnings and everyday I begin to realize that it holds the key to eventually receiving tenure at my university. Until then if you have any problems concerning philosophy, if no one else can help, and if you can find me, maybe you can ask me.....a question.


--Dr. Philip Dumat Ph.D