The Cage Trilogy...Brilliance on Film

As I continue my stay in Japan, I become more and more enamored with some of the aspects of American life that I took for granted while living at home. Now, I understand that the outside perspective I have acquired gives me a warped view of many features of American culture that I would dislike if I was still in country. Despite this, there are some things that I loved at home, and that upon constant reflection, I still love here. One of the main examples is actor Nicolas Cage. His recent blemish aside, ("World Trade Center", which I didn't see, and for Cage's sake, I won't); Cage has starred in some of the greatest movies ever put on film. Listing all of his films accolades would be incredibly time consuming for just one blog, so instead I'm going to focus on his great action trilogy of the mid nineties. The "Cage Trilogy" included the three great films of "The Rock", "Con Air", and "Face Off".


I will begin with "The Rock". "The Rock" is a quaint little tale about a group of disaffected soldiers who feel betrayed by their government. They decide the only way to relate their grievance to the proper authorities is by taking over Alcatraz Island. Thus, they use their expert military skills to steal some poison gas and take everyone visiting the island hostage. Despite the brilliance of the plan's execution, and the forgone knowledge that taking prisoners always results in a favorable settlement for the hostage takers, the government hesitates to acquiesce to the demands of the soldiers. Instead they call in chemical weapons specialist Nicolas Cage (called Stanley Goodspeed in this film) and former prison inmate and British secret agent, Sean Connery. What results is a hilarious trek for our two heroes through the dark tunnels beneath the prison. Connery continually antagonizes Cage, who in brilliant fashion utters lines like... "Cut the chit-chat, A-hole!" and "How in the name of Zeus butthole, did you get out of your cell!" Connery, as if in awe of Cage's brilliant acting begins to listen to Cage, especially after Cage talks about the dangers of the poison gas that is present on the island. Everything gets resolved after Cage dismantles the missiles the soldiers have set up. The climax of the movie shows Cage stabbing himself in the heart with a syringe, then running out with flares to stop jets from napalming the island. He is unfortunately a little late, and the bomb blast throws Cage into the ocean, where he is saved by Connery. (Cage being thrown in the air by a blast is the trademark end to all three movies) Cage and Connery separate with mutual respect, and Cage bravely covers for Connery. Brilliant movie.


The second movie I will be discussing is "Con Air", possibly my favorite movie in the trilogy. In this movie Cage is the incarcerated former U.S. Ranger Cameron Poe. Cage's dead on southern accent is breathtaking, and he uses it to perfection when he is placed on an airplane full of convicts. Cage was imprisoned for a crime of passion (as if there is any other type of crime that Cage would commit!) and he has recently won parole. He boards the plane with his diabetic friend, on a trip to see his wife and daughter. The excitement evident in Cage's eyes at the prospect of seeing his daughter is displayed throughout the movie by his tenacity when fighting other prisoners for the stuffed bunny he plans to give his daughter. The criminals, (notably John Malkovich and Ving Rhames), take over the plane and call it Con-Air. They plan to fly to South America and party. Cage is noticeably shaken up by what transpires, but after someone breaks his friend's insulin bottles, he knows he can't leave. Cage attempts to thwart the criminal's plans, all the while delivering brilliant lines like, "Johnny: You know what I am?!? Cage: Ugly all day." The rest of the movie has John Malkovich uttering lines that are barely understandable to a majority of the audience as well as numerous fights over the bunny. (Cage famously demands one prisoner to "put the bunny in the box" during one scene, when the prisoner does not oblige, Cage kills him.) The movie ends with the plane crashing into Las Vegas and Cage and Malkovich fighting across the city. Eventually Cage gets blown away from a runaway fire truck and Malkovich gets his head smashed by a concrete crusher. Cage, with a cut or two on his face collects himself and offers the bunny to his daughter. She gratefully accepts the gift.


Finally, the last movie in the trilogy is the fantastic film, "Face/Off". This movie is notable because Cage plays first Castor Troy and later Sean Archer. The major weak point of this film is the box office poison that is John Travolta. It is impossible not to see the brilliance of Cage especially when standing beside the blackhole of acting talent that is Travolta. The movie starts with Cage being a really cool villain. He walks around almost perpetually in slow motion sexually harassing young girls while brandishing two guns. Eventually, he is captured by Travolta and they take Cage's face off and put it on Travolta. When Cage finds out that he doesn't have a face he begrudgingly accepts to use Travolta's by claiming that he "wants to take his face... off. Eyes, nose, skin, teeth. It's coming off." Afterwards, Travolta and Cage fight it out, with Cage forced to take the sniveling lines that Travolta's character usually used. There are massive fights with Travolta trying desperately to ruin the movie by saying thing like "Ohhhhhhhhweeee, you good-lookin." Shutter. Anyway, Travolta and Cage eventually end up fighting on a boat, the boat then crashes to the shore and explodes, throwing Cage onto the beach. The end is a little bitter-sweet, because you get to see Cage kill Travolta, but later you realize it's the other way around, and Travolta gets his face back. Anyway, it's still a good movie, because Cage is in it.

In conclusion, I would urge all of you to go out in rent a Cage flick. They are all brilliant, and my previous post is just scratching the surface. I recently watched "The Weather Man" (very funny) and "Lord of War" (another good Cage flick, which almost got me in trouble when I asked for "Man of War" {a great Kentucky Derby Winner} and received a ticket to the Eugene Levy and Samuel L. Jackson movie "The Man". I fortunately escaped before ever having to lay eyes on that piece of garbage.) I would also like to turn everyone's attention to a new Cage flick coming out in February called, "Ghost Rider". This looks like one of the greatest Cage flicks yet. He plays a flaming skeleton riding a flaming motorcycle! I can't wait to see it!

A New Direction for Popular Music

Throughout history, music has made giant leaps in its constant evolution thanks to special talents that continue to stand the test of time. In 1957, Elvis Presley properly introduced the world to Rock and Roll on the Ed Sullivan Show. In 1964, The Beatles landed and New York, beginning the British Invasion that would rule popular music throughout the Sixties. In 1983 Michael Jackson moonwalked for the first time and in 1991 Nirvana broke into the mainstream and introduced the world to "grunge". Despite all these achievements, many will argue that they are just improvements of earlier styles, and that the music has failed to be truly revolutionary. All that would change in 2003 when a a force unknown in the history of music emerged. His presence guaranteed that the previous trends of peaceful evolution in music would come to a screeching halt.

Macho Man Randy Savage has been known for many things. His professional wrestling skills are the stuff of legend, and many observers list his tenure as a Slim Jim spokesman as one of the greatest acting performances in history. Despite these accomplishments, Savage's musical talents were mysteriously ignored. In 1993, he was given the opportunity to showcase his ability with a one track debut on Wrestlemania: The Album. The Song, "Speaking From The Heart" sounds to the modern ear, to be a triumph musically and lyrically. Examples of some of the groundbreaking lyrics include, "soaring with the eagles and slithering with the snakes, I've been everywhere in between, I am your friend, I'm the Macho Man Randy Savage" as well as, "I will always be with you, yeah, the moon, the stars, Venus, Pluto, Saturn,yeah. Looking down, covering all bases, Dig It!" Despite the songs obvious genius, Macho Man's input was overlooked as a result of the promotion for some of the other tracks on the album. It was this failure of the music industry to properly expose Savage's unique gift, that caused the world to be free of Macho Man's musical brilliance until the groundbreaking year of 2003.

October 7, 2003 is remembered by many political historians as the day of the famous California recall that cleared to road for Arnold Schwarzenegger to become America's greatest politician. Unfortunately, many forget to note that it was also the day that music was changed forever. It was on this day that Savage released the album "Be a Man". This album is from beginning to end, brilliant. The title track, "Be a Man", is a thought provoking challenge to Hulk Hogan for a fight. With lyrics like, "Hollywood Hulkster, you are at the end of your rope, and I'm gonna kick you in the butt and wash your mouth out with soap," it is not surprising that a justifiably frightened Hulk Hogan has not responded. Other tracks include "I'm back", where Savage thanks his "crew" for making such a brilliant album. Of all the brilliant tracks on "Be a Man", The keystone song is a tune written for late wrestler "Mr. Perfect" Curt Henning. The tear jerking hip-hop hit with heart wrenching lyrics like "his greatness was so obvious...he straightened up a locker room" is especially relevant because prior to his death Henning had publicly professed a hatred of rap.

The release of the album created a buzz that has yet to die down. Reviews of the album at the time of the release were justifiably phenomenal. Dan Aquilante of the New York Post was so blown away by the musical structure of the album, while at the same time sucked in by Savage's pertinent lyrics that he could not stay silent. He wrote that the album, "defies the laws of physics by blowing and sucking at the same time." This review, as well as many others, expressed the popular view that the album rocked modern conceptions of what was good in the world.

Almost three years later, "Be a Man" is standing the test of time. Many music lovers still bring up the album frequently when talking about the highs and lows in the music industry. In conclusion, anyone who loves music and has not had the privilege to listen to Savage are unreasonably denying themselves one of the greatest pleasures of life. Finally, for those who are still uncertain about listening to Savage, I think that it would be safe to rest my case by letting Macho Man's music speak for itself. "Get your heart a pumpin, he gets the party startin...everybody's saying, he's really quite amazing, he's the Macho Man, Dig it!"

-Todd

Americans! Come Together This September!

I can't imagine that anyone could forget where they were and what they were doing when they first heard the news about what was transpiring on that day in September. I don't have to remind you what I'm talking about, as I'm sure that many of you feel the same emotions every September. I can only hope that the following words will adequately express my emotions concerning that day, as well as help others by revealing the truth about what I experienced when I first learned about the horrible reality of the situation.

I remember that day just like it was yesterday. At the time I was working a dead end job and I felt that my life was going nowhere. The day it happened, I had just dragged myself in for another exhausting shift when I was told the startling news. The revelation took my breath away and I was forced to sit and fully absorb something that I was in no way prepared for. I asked my co-worker again if it could possibly be true. He reiterated his earlier statement, tears filling his eyes. He continued by adding that he had been totally unaware of the magnitude of the situation until it was too late. In a state of denial I rushed to the internet. To my horror, every news site had published the same shocking truth. I sat back and tried to think about how it could be possible that something this big could be overlooked. It was at that moment that I noticed my co-worker beginning to panic. He said that his grandparents were in New York, and that he had no way of contacting them. I tried to calm him, but my mind was on my own grandparents who lived in Pennsylvania, not far from Pittsburgh. I asked my manager for leave and raced home just in time to see my sister calmly eating lunch. When I told my sister what I knew, her face turned white and she quickly began preparing for the worst. I decided that I needed to know if my grandparents were all right. I made the long trip down to their house. When I arrived, I was relieved to find them both fine. They greeted me cordially and allowed me to reveal what I had discovered. In response, they justifiably bemoaned the lack of vigilance my generation had shown by letting such a monumental failure of intelligence and foresight occur. I knew they were right, and I went to sleep that night telling myself that I would never forget the sacrifice all those people made. I knew that they must be celebrated and I promised that I would keep the anniversary present in everyone's mind so that no one would ever forget.

As I conclude, I want to remind everyone not to forget National Grandparents Day this September 10. My ignorance caused me to forget such an important day, but together as a nation, we can ensure that all Grandparents throughout the country will be honored on this hallowed day. It is important to remember that a person's grandparents are pillars of our society. Without a Grandfather teaching you about fishing, stamps, and other things that happened in his time, how would we ever get away from things we really want to be doing? And without a Grandmother baking cookies, driving slowly, and mending our spirits on a bad day, how could we possibly acquire things against our parents wishes? We must not under any circumstance let these twin towers of society collapse. Their fall would signal the end of the American style of life that we have grown to love. In conclusion I urge us to come together this National Grandparents Day and remember all those former Grandparents who so courageously gave their lives due to their advanced years. Wave the American flag for your Grandparents this September! For every flag I see, I will know another Grandparent won't be forgotten.

-Todd

A Day in Osaka

Recently I had to travel to the great industrial city of Osaka for a job interview. I spent a grand total of one day there, but despite the short length, I believe I saw all that needed to be seen. Many will ask me how I could believe that I had experienced everything the city had to offer in such a short time. To my critics, I would respond by asking them to turn their attention to the pictures below.

After the first part of my interview, I decided to eat at the local Subway establishment. Ever since my high school days and my employment at a Subway restaurant, I have always had a soft spot in my heart for a 12' Roast Chicken on White bread. I also remembered eating at a Japanese Subway while in Tokyo, and I desperately wanted to see the sub that I have mused about since first discovering it last December. The sub in question is the BLT Dog. Yes, the restaurant chain that helped Jared loose all that weight through its healthy eating choices has given the Japanese consumer a hot dog wrapped in bacon. I had eaten the BLT Dog once in my life, and found it lackluster, but I could not go one more day without showing the world the image the Japanese person must face when choosing a lunch option. Of course many of the other typical Subway choices were available, (except for Roast Chicken, damn you BLT Dog!), so I chose the Subway Club. I had a delicious lunch while carefully scanning the other patrons to see if they had picked the BLT Dog. I was surprised to find zero instances where the sub had been chosen. What about the above picture could be unappetizing!?! Eat Fresh indeed.

Finally, after my interview (which was successful), I journeyed through Osaka's elaborate and expensive metro system. Now, before I go on further, I must express my love for the world's greatest rock band, KISS. Any band that can wear makeup, use theatrics, and dabble in disco, so that the unsuspecting listener won't discover the truth behind their actual musical ability is okay with me! I love KISS! In fact, I'm KISS Army member 1! Yes, I somehow am the first fan despite the band existing long before I was born. If I had to rank the Top 10 bands, 1-9 would be KISS, with #10 probably going to KISS anyway! Okay! So now, I was walking through the tunnel when I stumbled upon the truest statement I have ever witnessed. I looked and saw many children dressed like the usual KISS members. You know Star Child, Demon, and the other two. To their right the statement, "We need KISS". Tears came to my eyes as I pondered the universal truth of this statement. I realized that all I had said about the Japanese was wrong. They were truly enlightened! I had attacked their food, their climate, their film, their music, and their game shows, but now I knew the truth. I was wrong. After seeing this I promised myself that I would be more Japanese. I immediately ordered raw squid and ate it while watching men dressed as babies ride tricycles for prizes. Thank You KISS! Once again you have shown me the error of my ways, and now I can continue my path working towards your greater glory.

-Todd