I've finally returned! After nearly a month absence, I have made my way back to the medium which kept me sane during my year in Japan, and has since been sorely neglected. While this particular entry won't be purely devoted to my list of excuses explaining my lack on entries, I would like to explain what I have been doing over the last month. In addition, I want to make it clear my intentions for the future and my expectations for the continuation of my blog.The previous blog was written shortly before I left to visit my first post-soviet republic (other than Russia), Ukraine. I had to go to Kiev in order to renew my visa, and since the stifling Russian bureaucracy (which has since made what I did impossible) doesn't allow for visa renewal in country, I was forced to take a brief vacation. Kiev is a wonderful city that feels like Moscow except smaller and more relaxed. The city's fame rests on its history of being central to both Russian and Orthodox history. As a result, many of its attractions are monasteries, churches, and monuments heralding its contribution to the Soviet war effort during World War II. While these things were interesting, Kiev was small enough that I was finished with most of my sightseeing after only two days. In any event, Kiev's most interesting feature had nothing to do with the city, but with the hostel we chose to stay at.
Nestled on the third floor of a building located on one of Kiev's main thoroughfares, lies a building with the brilliantly named hostel known as "Kiev Backpacker's." Upon entering the visitor quickly realizes that they have entered nothing more than an apartment which has been modernized and turned into a hostel.
While this may seem a little strange, this is not at all unique to Eastern Europe, and the visitor will be happy to finally put his bag down. Upon turning around, they will surely come into the contact with one of the most unique and altogether infuriating characters in Ukraine. If you don't already know this man, then I feel it is my duty to introduce the world to the militantly conservative Norwegian that runs this particular hostel. Always looking for a fight, he will serenade you with the most random and irrational string of profanities while at the same time cornering you with claims that his NATO friends in Afghanistan have told him the war there is over, that we should just bomb Iran and Venezuela and get it over with, and that Putin is the next Hitler (a point that loses any actual merit due to the "Hitler" analogy). This agnostic-monarchist who believes in divine right (what?) claimed that the Norwegian parliament would create civil war if it ever attempted to remove King Harald V of Norway (whose own merits can be measured by his close friendship with the brilliant actor/martial art expert Steven Seagal, whom he frequent invites to Norway for advice as well as the opportunity to hangout together and watch films). Never one to take a hint, the visitor can expect to be given an unwanted political education based on this man's warped views of the world. Despite this, his real appeal lays in his fervent hatred of Ukraine and Russia. Always looking for a way to slam either country (usually in front of his Russian and Ukrainian guests), his gross generalizations leave everyone (even those who may share some of his opinions) queasy. 
While this may not seem like anything new, the real irony lays in his choice of a wife, a Ukrainian woman (whose similar use of profanity makes you wonder where she learned English). In the end, you dread returning to the place intended for rest and you begin to think that all of the Western European hatred of America might not be the result of any deficiencies on the part of American public.
While my high opinions of Slavs and Russians in particular is based on my love of their common history, my exasperation with the opinions of the Norwegian man may be lessened if he was talking about one Russian woman in particular. About two months ago, I asked the woman at my company who is in charge of accommodations to help me to get the internet at my house. Since this was an essential part of her job, I assumed that it would be taken care of. Two months later, and more then 15 visits to this woman's office, I have yet to receive the next day installation (part of the reason for my lack of recent blogs). Now many of you may wonder why I haven't done it myself, or at least found other help. Before I answer your question, I first would like to enlighten the reader to the character I've been forced to deal with. Probably the laziest woman in the history of the world, I first encountered her behind a mountain of spent sunflower seed shells. When I asked her about the internet, her first suggestion was the extremely helpful "get it yourself". While this piece of advice may have worked for a native Russian, my lack of knowledge concerning Russian internet contracts made it less than useful. During a second visit, she further proved her worth by showing me an internet advertisement that she had found in a local newspaper. After this meeting, I started to get the feeling that this woman was dangerously stupid. These premonitions were confirmed when she so drastically ruined my application, that other Russians were at a loss of words concerning what exactly she had done. As of this writing, my lack of internet continues, and I am forced to continue working through her ridiculous questions and even worse suggestions.
Of course, I can do nothing but keep you informed about how she further ruins my life. At the moment, I'm shooting to the get the normal 24 hour installation done before Christmas.
Finally, (and despite the above) life in Russia is going pretty well. Leslie and I are getting used to the peculiarities present in everyday Russian life, and our excitement and planning for future travels in and around Russia will continue with a trip to Greece next month as well as both Belarus and Turkey somewhere on the horizon. In any event, my improving Russian and the opportunity to witness a (potential) turning point in Russian history and politics makes my time here invaluable. In conclusion, I hope that next couple of years in Russia will open the door to new possibilities that can keep me busy and happy enough to free me from the burden of complaining via the internet. Until then, I plan to write blogs more frequently (as soon as I get internet again), so I hope that my loyal handful of readers do not forsake me yet. After all, what’s the use of ranting if there isn't anyone to bear the brunt of the ravings?
Nestled on the third floor of a building located on one of Kiev's main thoroughfares, lies a building with the brilliantly named hostel known as "Kiev Backpacker's." Upon entering the visitor quickly realizes that they have entered nothing more than an apartment which has been modernized and turned into a hostel.
While this may seem a little strange, this is not at all unique to Eastern Europe, and the visitor will be happy to finally put his bag down. Upon turning around, they will surely come into the contact with one of the most unique and altogether infuriating characters in Ukraine. If you don't already know this man, then I feel it is my duty to introduce the world to the militantly conservative Norwegian that runs this particular hostel. Always looking for a fight, he will serenade you with the most random and irrational string of profanities while at the same time cornering you with claims that his NATO friends in Afghanistan have told him the war there is over, that we should just bomb Iran and Venezuela and get it over with, and that Putin is the next Hitler (a point that loses any actual merit due to the "Hitler" analogy). This agnostic-monarchist who believes in divine right (what?) claimed that the Norwegian parliament would create civil war if it ever attempted to remove King Harald V of Norway (whose own merits can be measured by his close friendship with the brilliant actor/martial art expert Steven Seagal, whom he frequent invites to Norway for advice as well as the opportunity to hangout together and watch films). Never one to take a hint, the visitor can expect to be given an unwanted political education based on this man's warped views of the world. Despite this, his real appeal lays in his fervent hatred of Ukraine and Russia. Always looking for a way to slam either country (usually in front of his Russian and Ukrainian guests), his gross generalizations leave everyone (even those who may share some of his opinions) queasy. 
While this may not seem like anything new, the real irony lays in his choice of a wife, a Ukrainian woman (whose similar use of profanity makes you wonder where she learned English). In the end, you dread returning to the place intended for rest and you begin to think that all of the Western European hatred of America might not be the result of any deficiencies on the part of American public.While my high opinions of Slavs and Russians in particular is based on my love of their common history, my exasperation with the opinions of the Norwegian man may be lessened if he was talking about one Russian woman in particular. About two months ago, I asked the woman at my company who is in charge of accommodations to help me to get the internet at my house. Since this was an essential part of her job, I assumed that it would be taken care of. Two months later, and more then 15 visits to this woman's office, I have yet to receive the next day installation (part of the reason for my lack of recent blogs). Now many of you may wonder why I haven't done it myself, or at least found other help. Before I answer your question, I first would like to enlighten the reader to the character I've been forced to deal with. Probably the laziest woman in the history of the world, I first encountered her behind a mountain of spent sunflower seed shells. When I asked her about the internet, her first suggestion was the extremely helpful "get it yourself". While this piece of advice may have worked for a native Russian, my lack of knowledge concerning Russian internet contracts made it less than useful. During a second visit, she further proved her worth by showing me an internet advertisement that she had found in a local newspaper. After this meeting, I started to get the feeling that this woman was dangerously stupid. These premonitions were confirmed when she so drastically ruined my application, that other Russians were at a loss of words concerning what exactly she had done. As of this writing, my lack of internet continues, and I am forced to continue working through her ridiculous questions and even worse suggestions.
Of course, I can do nothing but keep you informed about how she further ruins my life. At the moment, I'm shooting to the get the normal 24 hour installation done before Christmas.Finally, (and despite the above) life in Russia is going pretty well. Leslie and I are getting used to the peculiarities present in everyday Russian life, and our excitement and planning for future travels in and around Russia will continue with a trip to Greece next month as well as both Belarus and Turkey somewhere on the horizon. In any event, my improving Russian and the opportunity to witness a (potential) turning point in Russian history and politics makes my time here invaluable. In conclusion, I hope that next couple of years in Russia will open the door to new possibilities that can keep me busy and happy enough to free me from the burden of complaining via the internet. Until then, I plan to write blogs more frequently (as soon as I get internet again), so I hope that my loyal handful of readers do not forsake me yet. After all, what’s the use of ranting if there isn't anyone to bear the brunt of the ravings?
