Drop That Zero and Get With the Hero

As I'm settling into my new life here in Japan, I'm continually confronted with the problem of boredom and a genuine desire to experience the comforts of home. As a result of my longing for something that reminds me of home, I visited the local video store and picked up one of the greatest films of all time. The movie was "Cool As Ice", and the tag line that ensured my future rental, "When a girl has a heart of stone, there's only one way to melt it. Just add Ice." I knew that a movie who promises me that melting anything involves adding ice, was the film I wanted to spend my Saturday night watching.

The movie was just as I expected. When I first watched "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: Secret of the Ooze," I quite enjoyed Vanilla's cameo, and even liked "Ninja Rap". Unfortunately, I was 8 years old then, and "Cool As Ice" was 90 minutes of everything I took from that cameo. The viewer is confronted with constant motorcycle driving, frequent shots of Vanilla dancing for no apparent reason, (there is one scene where he just dances in the middle of the street), and some of the most ridiculous dialog I've ever heard, "So what's that like, having parents" and "Kat: I'll see you later. Ice: You are seeing me now." Anyway, it was a good laugh, and Vanilla's clothes are awe inspiring, (his jacket says things like, "Sex me up" and "Oh, Yeah") So, if you are having a boring night, I would suggest "Cool As Ice", its a fantastically bad film, and in the words of Vanilla, "That's the straight up truth."

-Todd