Apologies and Guilty Pleasures

A week ago, I wrote a post concerning my observations and opinions of Russia. Upon finishing it, I congratulated myself on a job well done, and retired to my bed to consider the words of wisdom I had so cleverly placed within those few paragraphs. Despite my obviously amazing work, there was one aspect about the blog that bothered me, that kept eating at me throughout the night. The pain began to engulf me and it was at that moment that I knew, that the little lie I had sewn into my words would consume me. Throughout the night, I battled my conscious, and by morning I was a shell of the man who had written the blog only hours before. In my weakness, I decided to seek condolence from the internet through my email. It was then that I noticed a message from my friend Jesse. Hoping that his words would cheer me up, I opened it only to be faced with a shocking condemnation of my lie. His words struck a cord in me, and I knew that I could not live with the falsity I had spread. Therefore, I humbly throw myself on the mercy of my readers when I confess this simple truth. I have liked and still like songs by the band Bon Jovi. As a result of this confession, I wish to air the truth about my acceptance of Bon Jovi as a musical entity, as well reveal other musical guilty pleasures. I believe that only after all of my musical demons have been exorcised, will it be possible for me to find peace among my friends, and the music that I like that doesn't suck.

First, I would like to clear the air about Bon Jovi. I have never purchased a Bon Jovi album. Like all middle class Caucasians, I was issued a copy of "Crossroads", their greatest hits album. I thoroughly enjoy the album, but I won't lie to you when I say that I do get a pleasure out of knowing I didn't give money to Bon Jovi. Of course my possession of a bootleg version of "Crossroads" is not the most difficult part of my confession. It is with a heavy heart that I admit to previously owning a legitimate copy of Bon Jovi's album "Crush", released in 2000. I genuinely enjoyed the single, "Its My Life", and publicly announced a desire to own its corresponding album. My good friend Ric reluctantly purchased a copy for me for my birthday. Despite this nauseating fact, I am proud to report that I traded it back for a better album later. I would also like to say that I did not like any of the other songs on the album. My only excuse is that I got so caught up in hating Bon Jovi due to the overall lameness of the music and their fans, that I denied my own affection for some of their songs. Despite this, I would like to assure everyone that I never owned a copy of the film, "Young Guns", and that I watched "Pay it Forward" due to the content of the message, and not due to Jon's cameo.

The healing that I feel has begun to engulf my soul, can only be complete after I offer everyone a list of all my guilty pleasures. For those of you with weak stomachs or working ears, it may prudent to skip the rest of this paragraph.
--Fleetwood Mac, especially the song "Go Your Own Way"
--Lionel Richie, especially the song "Dancing on the Ceiling" (The most listened to song this year according to my Ipod.)
--Foreigner, especially the song "Cold As Ice"
--Asia, "Heat of the Moment"
--Electric Light Orchestra, especially the song "Telephone Booth"
--Dima Bilan, the song "Never Let You Go" (This is a Russian Pop song, I pray to God nightly that I only like this because I'm nostalgic about Russia, nightly.)
--Lordi, especially the song "Rock and Roll Hallelujah" (I'm not really ashamed about his one, but take one look at the band and you will know why I listed it.)

I believe that is all for the moment. I would like to conclude by apologizing once more for the pain and grief that my confessions undoubtedly have caused you all. I know that your faith in my musical taste must be shaken, but I promise to do all that I can to regain your trust. In the mean time, I plan to wallow in my own shame to the tune of "You Give Love a Bad Name."