A Day in Osaka

Recently I had to travel to the great industrial city of Osaka for a job interview. I spent a grand total of one day there, but despite the short length, I believe I saw all that needed to be seen. Many will ask me how I could believe that I had experienced everything the city had to offer in such a short time. To my critics, I would respond by asking them to turn their attention to the pictures below.

After the first part of my interview, I decided to eat at the local Subway establishment. Ever since my high school days and my employment at a Subway restaurant, I have always had a soft spot in my heart for a 12' Roast Chicken on White bread. I also remembered eating at a Japanese Subway while in Tokyo, and I desperately wanted to see the sub that I have mused about since first discovering it last December. The sub in question is the BLT Dog. Yes, the restaurant chain that helped Jared loose all that weight through its healthy eating choices has given the Japanese consumer a hot dog wrapped in bacon. I had eaten the BLT Dog once in my life, and found it lackluster, but I could not go one more day without showing the world the image the Japanese person must face when choosing a lunch option. Of course many of the other typical Subway choices were available, (except for Roast Chicken, damn you BLT Dog!), so I chose the Subway Club. I had a delicious lunch while carefully scanning the other patrons to see if they had picked the BLT Dog. I was surprised to find zero instances where the sub had been chosen. What about the above picture could be unappetizing!?! Eat Fresh indeed.

Finally, after my interview (which was successful), I journeyed through Osaka's elaborate and expensive metro system. Now, before I go on further, I must express my love for the world's greatest rock band, KISS. Any band that can wear makeup, use theatrics, and dabble in disco, so that the unsuspecting listener won't discover the truth behind their actual musical ability is okay with me! I love KISS! In fact, I'm KISS Army member 1! Yes, I somehow am the first fan despite the band existing long before I was born. If I had to rank the Top 10 bands, 1-9 would be KISS, with #10 probably going to KISS anyway! Okay! So now, I was walking through the tunnel when I stumbled upon the truest statement I have ever witnessed. I looked and saw many children dressed like the usual KISS members. You know Star Child, Demon, and the other two. To their right the statement, "We need KISS". Tears came to my eyes as I pondered the universal truth of this statement. I realized that all I had said about the Japanese was wrong. They were truly enlightened! I had attacked their food, their climate, their film, their music, and their game shows, but now I knew the truth. I was wrong. After seeing this I promised myself that I would be more Japanese. I immediately ordered raw squid and ate it while watching men dressed as babies ride tricycles for prizes. Thank You KISS! Once again you have shown me the error of my ways, and now I can continue my path working towards your greater glory.

-Todd