5. Food- While this might seem a strange choice, I assure you its quite within reason. I made this choice not because of the quality or taste of Japanese cuisine, which is vile, but because of the variety of things that tickle the taste buds of the Japanese consumer. Imagine this, you are a Japanese business man with a hankering for a delicious lunch. First you buy a cabbage based salad and some sticky fermented beans that smell like socks. After this appetizer, you wash it down with cucumber flavored soda while preparing for an entire fish complete with the head, because after all, cheek meat is the best part. Feeling a little full, you decide to stick with a simple desert of green tea flavored ice cream and a small piece of battered octopus tentacle. I wish I was making this up, but unfortunately its all true. I have tried everything but the green tea ice cream, and all of them (with the exception of the beans which may be the worst thing I've ever eaten) were lackluster. Despite this the Japanese mentality of superiority charges them to praise their national foods, even if they don't like them themselves, and as a result I get to laugh at them. So in the end, laughing at Japanese customs is the fifth best part of Japan.
4. People- Well, what can I say about the average Japanese person. Generally they are probably the most polite people on earth and their zeal for all things Western makes any foreigner happy to be here. This along with politeness, kindness, and what appears to be an almost naive innocence, help many foreigners feel both comfortable and safe wherever they go. These qualities alone make Japan a beloved vacation spot and an even more popular ex-pat destination. Of course the negative effects, notably the kind of foreigners it attracts (which I discussed in "A Pariah's Paradise"), are always looming. Naturally this should not reflect negatively on the Japanese, and similar to "Pearl Jam" being assigned the guilt for the crap that was "Creed," we should not blame Japan for the lameness of its western inhabitants. Finally, I would also like to make it clear that when I say "Japanese" I am referring predominantly to the children and adults. Unfortunately the senior citizen and their inevitable conservatism and xenophobia cast a shadow on this otherwise great people. This constant presence coupled with a notoriously high life span makes this a problem that doesn't seem to be going away anytime soon. Nevertheless, the Japanese belief in openness and kindness has provided a beacon in the otherwise stormy night that is life in Japan.
3. Movie Plus- It's hard to describe the impact of Movie Plus in words. As the one channel that offered programs in English, it became my only option for watching anything on TV. Every time I turned on the television it was understood that Movie Plus would the only thing I was watching, and with the the slogan "We Love Movie," how could I possibly refuse. Of course I ended up watching the same thing numerous times, my 7+ viewings of "The Chronicles of Riddick" will stand witness to this depressing fact. Fortunately, there is one redeeming quality to the whole affair. In February, I first saw a commercial for an exercise regimen starring former Tae-bo guru Billy Blanks. Called "Billy's Boot Camp," the 3 minute spot extolled the benefits of Billy's methods with testimonials from satisfied customers. At the time I paid little attention to the TV spot, only noting the strange fact that Billy Blanks still commanded a certain degree of fame. If only I knew what lay in store fore me. "Billy's Boot Camp" became enormously popular and the advertisement began to appear at least once in every commercial break. Therefore it is with a heavy heart that I admit to seeing the same "Billy's Boot Camp" commercial close to 400 times and counting. At this point I can quote all of the exercises and have began to notice some of the ad's nuances, notably the set design and the degree of sweat on Billy's assorted tank tops. While this might be depressing, it has caused me quite a lot of joy and has helped me bear the brunt of the some of the more annoying and repetitive aspects of Japanese life.
2. Kitty- My relationship with Leslie's cat certainly started off on the wrong foot. When I first visited Japan in December 2005, Machiko (the cat's real name) was merely a kitten and acted like it. Constantly biting my feet and destroying her house, I went back to the United States with a firm hatred of the cat, dreading a possible reunion. Fortunately when I came back to Japan last summer, Kitty and I reconciled and she quickly became the one thing I knew I would miss when I decided to leave. I hate to talk about all of the great and hilarious things Kitty has done, at risk of sounding like everyone who has owned a pet, but I think it would be okay to just list some of her highlights. Kitty was a very destructive animal. She was constantly leaving claw prints in the paper walls and scratching all the walls. Also, she would often sleep on her back and on cold nights meow until we opened the covers in our bed to let her come in. Many nights were spent chasing live mice, lizards, bugs, and even a bird that Kitty would bring in from her adventures in the forest. While all of these things might seem to be annoying, and they were, it was Kitty who added a degree of unpredictability to the mundane and isolated life in the small house in Daito. This attachment caused considerable apprehension when the time to find a new home for Kitty arrived. Fortunately, we found her a new place really close our current house, just a few feet down the street. She even came back for a brief visit (to my delight), but after finding that we didn't have any food, she stopped visiting. Truly Kitty has moved on, which couldn't make me happier.
1. Leslie- This choice might seem to be a little out of place, since she isn't Japanese, but I honestly wouldn't have been here if it wasn't for Leslie. Any of you who have read my writings know that it can't be easy to live with someone so easily agitated about seemingly inconsequential things. Fortunately, Leslie has been up to the task. Her constant patience with my complaining, growing attraction to Japanese girls, and scrutiny concerning anything that she likes can't have been easy, but I feel the year in Japan has strengthened our relationship. As we prepare for our time in Russia, I realize that our roles will be reversed and it will be my turn to step up and take responsibility for any of the problems and pitfalls that we may encounter. Of course I can only hope to equal her affinity for assuming the lead role in the relationship when faced with certain and inevitable hardships. In any event, I would have never made it through Japan without her. It is with this in mind that despite everything I have encountered, she remains the one thing that would cause me to return. Of course I would urge her to restrain that notion for at least 20 years. In conclusion, she was easily the best part of my time in Japan.
It with this last article that I conclude a certain chapter of my life. I can't help but feel a little nostalgic, but I suppose with any great change, that kind of thing is inevitable. My time in Japan has been memorable with many goods and bads. I can only hope Russia will equal or surpass the experiences I have had the privilege to encounter. Regardless of what happens, I'll keep you posted.
1 comment:
excellent blog my friend. i really enjoyed this one more than the others. i'm glad you finally made it home, however getting in touch with one another is going to be harder than i previously anticipated. i've recently lost your email, and i'm not entirely sure where you are staying for your visit, so PLEASE write to me via my email addy so we can get together. ladies.
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